Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
