2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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