Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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