you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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