i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
