I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
