im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
my being single is dangerous.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
