It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
