batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
OPIZZABONMYDICK
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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