Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize