the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
