ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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