I don't think brook has ever known best
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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