Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
They have beer where we have blood.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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