Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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