thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
We had to coat check the pizza.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize