Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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