he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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