I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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