so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize