dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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