Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he puts the penis in happiness.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
