I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Randomize