Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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