xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
