I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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