Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize