I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
