Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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