Nicole vs. Life
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
