Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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