I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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