i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Ladies don't puke and tell
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
