I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
