I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
