Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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