I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Randomize
