dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i came on her dog
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
