New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
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