yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
