Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
