just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
