Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
