if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i believe in u and ur pee
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize