I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
