Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
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