Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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