I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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