I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
