The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
