true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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