oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
