if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
