Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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