everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize