My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
