so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
