So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
