Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
