I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Just invented taco cereal.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize
